Parting
by difficile
Summary: Albeit he loved the sky pirate dearly, Vaan knew that the sky’s beckoning voice would take Balthier away from his embrace once again. He just doesn’t know why he, too, cannot ride the current of freedom with the one he loves. BalVaan, Angst.


_**A/N: I don't know if this was a dream or just something I had thought about when just about to go to sleep, but this beautiful image and what I interpreted it as just stayed in my mind while listening to "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas. I have debated whether or not to write it into a fic because the image was just so powerful that I didn't think I could put it into words… But it was nagging at me.**_

_**The song "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas… It's a lovely song and makes me realize what a gorgeous couple Balthier and Vaan make. Listen to it. I hope you enjoy this little oneshot.**_

_**I do not own anything of Final Fantasy, nor do I own the song/lyrics of anything by Rob Thomas.**_

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**Parting**

"_We would stand in the wind,_

_we were free like water,_

_flowing down under the warmth of the sun."_

_(Rob Thomas - "Ever the Same")_

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The sun's gentle rays lightened the earth below, and the wind whispered its graceful secret through the valley as the lazy white clouds passed overhead. Green grass stretched as far as the eye could see, surrounded by vague but prodigious mountains that reached their rocky peaks towards the sky above. And beneath the sky, below the mountains and the warmth of the sun, stood a tree. A lone tree, not even very tall; it held itself atop a small hill, its roots weaving through the grass and into the sweet earth's refuge until they became lost in the soil altogether.

It's branches stretched every which way, allowing a myriad of brightly pigmented leaves to sway to and fro with the wind's secret song. It was like nature's dance; the breeze would blow, the blades of grass would swish repeatedly in the guiding song, and the leaves would brush against each other in harmony. And all the while the tree stood straight up, never swaying despite the beckoning call of its surroundings. This dogged tree offered something, however. An ample amount of shade, shade for anyone who desired a rest underneath its natural gift.

A quiet pair of young men wrapped in each other's arms occupied the shady grass beneath the tree. One of the two, a brunette, was leaned back against the trunk while his partner leaned back against his chest. The smaller of the two, a youthful blonde, grasped his lover's arms that were wrapped around his breast. They both faced straight ahead, and a peaceful expression was placed on both of their relaxed features.

They were silent in each other's company, but not awkwardly so. It was a silence that soaked in everything around, took in each and every miniscule moment and kept it within itself.

A silence that anticipated a parting.

The blonde's closed eyes soon cracked open and he was greeted with the vibrant color of his surroundings. He took in a breath and leaned his head to the side, resting it on the bicep of the other male.

"Balthier…" he broke the silence with the small calling that portrayed a sweet love… yet an inconsolable sadness.

Balthier slowly opened his own eyes and looked down at the one in his arms, an unreadable expression pooled in his brown eyes as he studied the fragile boy who had given him so much.

"Yes, Vaan?" he replied equally as soft, equally as laden with tenderness.

Balthier moved one arm from under Vaan's hold, bringing it up to rake gently through the aureate locks as he waited for Vaan to continue.

Silence stretched over them again for a minute, the only sound heard being that of their rhythmic breathing and the wind's susurration. Their hearts beat together under the sky, knowing that soon this feeling of unity would be broken and pieced back together only by the unknown current of the wind.

"…You'll fly off again, won't you." Vaan said with some strain to his voice.

"What makes you think I won't, Vaan?" Balthier asked quietly; the quickness in his reply made Vaan's heart lurch painfully. Sensing the pain in his words, Balthier leaned his head down to Vaan's cheek and, brushing his lips lightly across the sun-kissed skin, continued. "It's what I do. You must understand. The sky is my home."

"Why can't it be _our_ home?" the blonde choked out almost silently.

And as if they could read each other's mind, the two men looked towards the sky with the same look in their eyes. Balthier craved _freedom_, basked in her presence and worshipped her existence. But devotion tied him down to something, liberating him to a new realm of feelings but shutting him out of a portion of what he valued most.

Vaan, in turn, loved freedom – but saw that she could be shared with love as well. In fact, he thought that the two together would make everything picture perfect. What _wasn't_ wrong with that?

The two thought so differently, but down to the core they wanted the same thing.

_Freedom_. The sky offered infinity… the sky offered uncertainty.

Devotion offered obligation… devotion offered reassurance.

Balthier loved Vaan; that was no question. But…

Balthier was empty. He wanted to be filled with one thing at a time.

The sky – his freedom; then love.

It wasn't like Vaan didn't understand. He knew, he felt what Balthier felt. He just didn't see why the two things could not be put together. Why Balthier had to fill the empty void in his soul that only the sky could satisfy was comprehensible.

But what wasn't comprehensible was why Vaan couldn't be beside him, fill him with his love and be filled in return.

"Are you afraid I will hold you down? Is that it, Balthier?" Vaan turned his head to the side and met the gaze of the one he loved. He tried to dig through Balthier's eyes, open the dusty window to the soul and release the enigmatic ways behind his reasoning.

Vaan never could succeed in that.

Balthier did not reply for a while, only staring at the blue eyes so close to his. He closed the small gap between their lips with a chaste kiss to Vaan's pink lips before breaking it all too soon.

"You have never held me down, and you never will."

"Then tell me why!" Vaan demanded, shattering the thin veil of tranquility between them. "Tell me why you always go off, why you always expect me to be waiting down here for you!"

Balthier blinked. "I have never expected such a thing from you, Vaan."

"…Please tell me, Balthier. Tell me why I can't be with you as you fly."

The brunette was silent for a moment again, burying his face into the side of Vaan's neck. He inhaled the sweet scent of his lover's skin, running his fingers up and down the trembling arms in an attempt to soothe the teen shaking in acrimony.

"It is for my personal fulfillment."

"You sound so selfish." Vaan spat bitterly, the words rolling off his tongue like sour wine.

"You call me selfish for going after something that I have been yearning for all my life, something that I have worked so hard for?"

Vaan fell very silent at this, realizing that the words he was saying portrayed him as a naive hypocrite. _But what is that something, Balthier?_

"I… I didn't mean it that way. But… what do you call our relationship? What do you want from _us_? Is this just something you come down to every once in a while out of pity once you take a break from the sky?"

Balthier's hold on Vaan tightened and he pressed himself harder into the other. Vaan could feel Balthier's short eyelashes brush against his skin as he closed his eyes.

"You will understand one day. You will soon have your own set of wings… Vaan, you will soon taste the sweet air of freedom."

Vaan felt his eyes immediately glass over and threaten to overflow. The answers he was getting flustered him so, confused him and hurt him beyond comprehension of the sky pirate.

"If freedom will make me into some selfish man who leaves the ones he loves, then maybe that isn't what I want." The blonde whispered, more to himself than Balthier. Hearing this, Balthier shook his head and looked back up to the sky with a sigh.

"I'm starting to feel like we are going around in circles with this conversation," he sighed. Slowly his arms loosened and he broke the embrace altogether, letting his hands rest on the shady grass. Vaan shivered visibly at the loss of warmth both on his body and now in his soul. He trembled as he raged a mental war against himself before he cracked.

"I won't be waiting down here for you. Not anymore. You go off… and _you_ can come after _me_ once you've obtained whatever you're searching for."

"I'm still searching for something to find, Vaan." Balthier replied coldly.

The words hit Vaan like a blunt object. He blinked several times, unable to grasp the meaning in Balthier's reply. But as the realization sank in, Vaan's posture slackened slightly.

"So don't hold my breath?" Vaan assumed, looking up at Balthier cautiously.

"Precisely."

Another painful beat of Vaan's heart shook through his body and he stood from the grass. He turned to Balthier and glowered at the older male with anger, hurt, anxiety, and misunderstanding. He didn't know what to say… But he knew what he thought. And at that point Vaan didn't even care anymore; he'd tell Balthier what he thought, no matter how it sounded.

His eyes softened as he looked down at the still sitting sky pirate, hating the calm look in Balthier's brown eyes that radiated apathy with their mystery.

"I… I love you." He said. "I love you, Balthier. And if this is what you want… if this is what you want… Who am I to stop you? Go… go off and be complete with your freedom." he sighed.

Balthier stood from his sitting position and brushed himself off. As Vaan noticed this, he felt as though Balthier was brushing off everything between them as well; the love, the smiles, the empty promises and hopeless ambitions that he had set up in his head. Balthier looked back up at Vaan and nodded once.

"Maybe our paths will meet again, Vaan. The wind brings many unpredictable things with her current."

_But will she bring you back into my arms, or push you right past me again?_ Vaan thought as Balthier walked briskly past the blonde without so much as a second glance.

And with that, Balthier disappeared from Vaan's life and flew off again, off into the sky that didn't look so promising anymore, that didn't give him a feeling of hope whenever he looked up at its infinity.

From then on, looking up at the sky just hurt.

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"_This doesn't need to be the end."_

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End file.
